Imagine flitting through life free from unwellness. Unmarred by toxins, your clear skin and clearer energy ingratiate you with even the grumpiest barista. Your breath is slow and full, due to habit. You are calm — a deep ocean of self-love radiating outward. And imagine, now, that it’s all because you switched from taking tequila shots out of normal shot glasses to taking tequila shots out of these pink Himalayan salt shot glasses from a company called Root7.
Oh my!
Himalayan salt calls to mind wellness the way warm milk calls to mind sleepiness. They are connected, somehow, but the reasons why are somewhat mysterious and so far not supported by science. What is Himalayan salt supposed to do, exactly? Upon closer inspection, it seems it’s supposed to ehh, ahh —
Okay, well, the body needs a little salt, and Himalayan salt is salt. So that’s a benefit of Himalayan salt (and other salt). Plus it’s a “purer” salt, which I can only suppose is somehow better. Many Himalayan salt enthusiasts would have you believe the salt contains 84 trace minerals that are “vital to health,” compared to regular salt’s measly 60, but apparently that claim is unsubstantiated. Instead, both have 60.
What else? Himalayan salt lamps are “believed to reduce the toxicity” of the electromagnetic frequencies emitted by electronics. (“Believed” clearly doing heavy lifting here.) Otherwise they seem just to give a general vibe of wellness — this one here, as you can see, is pictured with a woman doing yoga in an otherwise empty room. “People say they love to sit beside our salt lamps because they feel soothing, calming and relaxing at that time,” its advertisement explains. Fair enough.
Himalayan salt caves — spa-like rooms featuring salt walls, salt floors, and reclining chairs — currently expanding their reach from more-populous to less-populous cities (there is now one in my Pennsylvania hometown) are intended to improve respiratory function. The jury is out on whether this is true or whether the improvement seen is caused by the mind’s ability to believe something is good for them when it isn’t, like how Carrie ended up with Big. But it has helped some people with COPD and asthma. In any case, it feels nice to sit in a warm place, particularly during cold and flu season. Himalayan salt is also meant to detox, which is a word that means nothing.
With all that said, the Himalayan salt shot glasses do not claim to make you well. I’m making that connection myself because the thought of it made me laugh after receiving an email about Himalayan salt shot glasses. Here, instead, is what the shot glasses, which retail for $30 on Amazon, claim:
“Add a subtle touch of salt to your shot of Tequila, all you need is a wedge of lime and you’re ready to go! The Root7 Himalayan Salt Shot Glasses are hand carved from natural pink rock salt, mined from the Himalayans to provide a shot glass of the highest quality. As the salt is 100% natural, each and every glass is totally unique, with a pink appearance that is naturally occurring. It’s the perfect way to enjoy a little Tequila in style, either for a little ‘me’ time, or to be enjoyed with friends.”
Yes, I love to take a little “me” time and do a few shots of tequila alone from a novelty shot glass. But will they make me well, or at least reduce the toxicity of the electromagnetic frequencies emitted by my various electronics? Let’s see.
I will say this about the shot glasses: They are quite substantial. Meant to last longer than the amount of time you’d expect salt that regularly comes into contact with alcohol to last, they are large and heavy. They have a very thick rim from which it is difficult to take a shot. You take the shot and you really have to throw your head back, and then there’s still a little tequila left in there, so you have to do it again, in my experience.
I took three (it was really closer to two-and-a-half, but let’s between you and me just say three) shots my first time taking shots from the glasses. I know this is far fewer shots than even the lightweight members of Vanderpump Rules (Ariana) would have taken to test out the wellness-related aspects of the shot glasses, but among the few differences between me and the cast of Vanderpump Rules is my inability to rally the next day. Here is the wellness scorecard.
WELLNESS SCORECARD SHOT EXPERIENCE 1:
Was it salt?
Yes, it was salt. I imagine this saltiness means it also provided me with a little of the minerals in salt that I need for my wellness. 9/10
Did taking the shot reduce the toxicity of the electromagnetic frequencies emitted by my electronics?
I’m not sure. 5/10
Did the shot improve respiratory function?
The shot glass’s inherent difficulty made me choke on the tequila. 1/10
Did the shot lend an overall feeling of wellness?
First shot, yes definitely. Second shot, a little less. Third shot no. 6/10
The next time I used the shot glasses it was right before leaving for a Halloween party that I medium wanted to attend. How did they do on this night? Let’s see:
WELLNESS SCORECARD SHOT EXPERIENCE 2:
Was it salt?
Yes, it was salt. 9/10
Did taking the shot reduce the toxicity of the electromagnetic frequencies emitted by my electronics?
I’m pretty sure this time it might have. 8/10
Did the shot improve respiratory function?
The tightness in my chest loosened; I felt more alive. 8/10
Did the shot lend an overall feeling of wellness?
Unequivocally: yes. 10/10
CONCLUSIONS:
At this point, recommendations for taking one shot of tequila in advance of a party you only medium want to attend can be made. They cannot be recommended highly enough, in fact. One shot of tequila is a good way to feel a little bit better about going to a party where you are only going to know one or a handful of people, plus it’s cold outside and also raining. However, there is a need for high-quality studies to determine the effectiveness of taking multiple shots in Himalayan salt shot glasses with regard to respiratory function and the toxicity of electromagnetic frequencies.
Okay. Feel better!