Robert Pattinson has come a long way since playing a supernatural teen heartthrob in the Twilight franchise and a handsome nice guy in Harry Potter. In the past few years he’s taken a dramatic turn as a gritty bank robber in the Safdie brothers’ Good Time and a horny, brooding astronaut in High Life. More recently, he’s aligned himself with eccentric, oddball characters: a deranged French prince in The King and an unhinged lighthouse keeper in the dark indie The Lighthouse.
Considering these choices, it was something of a surprise when it was announced that Pattinson would be the next Batman. He seems aware of this fact, and when The Guardian asked him what he’d turn to if he failed to capture the superhero’s “vibe,” he responded by saying “porn — but art-house porn.” I have to say I respect his foresight in keeping his options open.
While the comment was made in apparent jest, Pattinson has arguably been dabbling in artsy porn his entire career. He himself noted in a Variety interview that he’s frequently called upon for his excellent onscreen masturbation scenes: “In the last three or four movies, I’ve got a masturbation scene. I did it in High Life. I did it in Damsel. And The Devil All the Time.”
It’s true. And what is art-house porn but Pattinson’s one-man sex scene in High Life — which takes place in space inside a so-called “Fuckbox?” Or the part in The Lighthouse where he very vividly hallucinates about having sex with a mermaid? And last but not least, what of his extremely hot Dior Homme ad from 2013?
Sure, maybe he was joking with The Guardian, but if you’re familiar with his work you’ll know that Pattinson’s acting oeuvre has been both artful and erotic. And while I wish him the greatest of success as Batman, given his work in the area so far, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t welcome Robert Pattinson, art-house-porn actor.