the bachelorette

So, Who’s Going to Win The Bachelorette(s)?

Photo: Craig Sjodin/ABC

On last night’s episode of The Bachelorette(s), the season’s official villain, Logan, a 26-year-old videographer from San Diego, ate up most of the available screen time. We watched him attempt to politely dump Bachelorette Rachel after accepting her roses for weeks in a row in her cruise-ship cabin littered with open wine bottles (go, Rachel). We watched Rachel cry about this new level of humiliation and cancel her group date because she wasn’t emotionally ready to face the rest of her contestants. And we watched Logan flash puppy-dog eyes at Bachelorette Gabby in her cruise-ship cabin, which apparently worked because she allowed him to join her group of contestants and ultimately gave him a rose.

My theory: Producers are spending so much time on this Logan drama because two weeks out from the classic hometown dates, it’s already pretty clear who the front-runners are in Gabby’s and Rachel’s camps. Although Rachel has cried in every single episode about men rejecting her and threatened to quit the show roughly 4,000 times, she has pretty clearly set her sights on two men who have always reciprocated her interest. Gabby has been slightly more mysterious on her top picks, but the clues are there. So who’s going to win? And will these people ever get off the cruise ship?

Rachel’s Front-runners

From the very first night at the Bachelor Mansion, it has been obvious that Rachel is in love with Tino, a 27-year-old general contractor from Playa del Rey, California. She gave him the first-impression rose and every possible rose she could have given him after that. Last week, they had a romantic one-on-one date in rainy Paris, which was ultimately boring because it’s clear they are basically already in a committed relationship. Even when Rachel cries to the camera about getting rejected by men at a rose ceremony or by Logan in her cruise-ship cabin, it seems that what she’s most worried about is looking undesirable in front of the other men, like, ahem, Tino. But I don’t think she has to worry: Tino picked her from the beginning and seems just simple enough to ride this process out to the end.

Of course, after last night’s episode, there are still four more men vying for Rachel’s final rose, including Aven, who had a pretty good one-on-one date in Bruges, Belgium; Zach, who bonded emotionally with Rachel when the producers made them watch home videos of each other’s families in episode two; Tyler, who made himself cry last week while reading a love poem to Rachel; and Ethan, who has gotten very little screen time. Zach or Aven could certainly make a play for second place, but I think it’s Tino all the way. So does former Bachelor contestant and current influencer Ashley Iaconetti, who told People this week, “All I’ll say is if Rachel doesn’t end up with Tino, I’m going to be really upset. They’re so cute together. He’s just a classic …That’s the guy this season.”

Gabby’s Front-runners

This question is harder to parse because Gabby is better than Rachel at putting on a smile for the camera. On every date, she gives each guy her full attention, even when they’re dead boring. She has acknowledged as much on Instagram, poking fun at herself for responding “ya, totally” any time one of the contestants says something dumb.

But I do think she has her favorites. After last night, she has six remaining men — one more than Rachel, I guess due to the Logan swap. Her team includes Erich, a 29-year-old real-estate analyst from New Jersey with whom she has obvious physical chemistry; Nate, a 33-year-old electrical engineer who has a young daughter; Johnny, who got the one-on-one date in Bruges this week; Jason, a quiet investment banker from Santa Monica; Spencer, who, like Ethan, has received zero screen time; and Logan.

Based on the trailer for upcoming episodes, it looks as if our villain Logan will betray Gabby in some disgusting way — ugh — so he’s out. Spencer and Johnny seem to be very unlikely picks at this point too. That leaves Erich, Nate, and Jason, who have all had one-on-one dates with Gabby already and who are probably cruising to hometown dates in two weeks. Based on how much attention producers have given them so far, I think Erich and Nate could be Gabby’s final two, though the trailer for upcoming episodes suggests that one of them might leave her or at least express doubts about their relationship.

If I had to put money on it, I’d say Rachel ends up with Tino, and Gabby ends up with Erich. But of course, the producers will have to make them all cry several times before that happens. Can’t wait for the rest of the season!

So, Who’s Going to Win The Bachelorette(s)’?