keeping up with the royals

Archbishop of Canterbury Urges a Halt to Kate Middleton Gossip

Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photos: Getty Images

Apparently it’s not very godly to be dabbling in (or obsessing over) Kate Middleton conspiracy theories. On Friday, the Archbishop of Canterbury, the head honcho of the Church of England, admonished the past few weeks of Kate Middleton scuttlebutt as “old-fashioned village gossip” on Times Radio.

“We are obsessed with conspiracy, and we have little sense of the humanity of those who are caught in the glare of the news,” Archbishop Justin Welby said. “It doesn’t matter who it is. People should be allowed to be ill, have an operation — whatever it is — and to live their lives in peace without everyone demanding that they prove something every other day.”

This feels like when you’re a kid and an adult tells you they’re “not mad, just disappointed.” Welby continued, “It’s extremely unhealthy. It’s just old-fashioned village gossip that can now go round the world in seconds. We have to turn away from that. Gossiping in that way is wrong.”

I understand that he is ultimately right about this, but do you think the Archbishop of Canterbury knows about the Rose Hanbury of it all? Does he know that Kate is currently “working from home”? What about Kate’s plans for a grand return to public life on Easter? You’d think he’d at least be into that story since it mirrors that of his favorite guy. And if he truly thinks there’s no way to gossip in a pious manner, well, then I think he should take a visit to any church in the American South. He could learn a lot from those ladies.

Archbishop of Canterbury Urges Halt to Kate Middleton Gossip