Ever since Cribs went off the air, it’s become much harder to look inside a celebrity’s refrigerator. For some reason, they don’t ask for a glimpse on the Architectural Digest “Open Door” videos, so the closest we get are those glass-door fridges the Kardashians have. As a nosy person, I want to know what they’re keeping stocked! Thankfully, DJ Khaled understands and shared a peek into his ice-cream freezer earlier this week.
Yes!!! Yes!!! This is the kind of Richie Rich nonsense famous people should be doing. Khaled’s ice-cream freezer is like a smaller-scale version of Tyrese’s backyard “Benihana” or Barbra Streisand’s basement mall. It’s something a child would imagine a rich person having in their home.
As for Khaled’s spread? Well, it’s immaculate. He keeps every kind of ice-cream bar — ice-cream-truck staples like ice-cream sandwiches and the Snickers bar are stacked next to the more refined and mature Dove bars — inside the door. On the shelves, he has dozens of flavors for every kind of palate, dietary restriction, and level of ice-cream snobbery. A pint of Jeni’s sits next to a nondairy pint of Ben & Jerry’s. There are at least two pints of Keto ice cream on the bottom shelf. For guests who like to keep it classic, there are giant tubs of Breyers.
I have not wanted to live like a famous person this badly since I learned that Ben Affleck has a fountain-soda machine in his office. Is this enough to erase the most memorable thing about DJ Khaled (him saying he doesn’t go down on women)? No. But it’s moving him in the right direction. Perhaps I could be swayed to forget his past idiocy if he had some sort of fruit-based Popsicle in the mix. You know, for balance.