Were you aware that today is the most important election of our lifetimes? Stressful stuff! Well, if you’ve already cast your ballot, there’s not much else you can do. Sure, you can give people rides to polling locations or call your relatives to make sure they’ve voted, that’s all fine and dandy. But tonight, when you feel the impulse to anxiously scroll on your phone or flip between channels to see if they’ve called Pennsylvania yet, my suggestion is simple: Read a book instead.
There is no point in obsessively refreshing the social-media accounts of political reporters or letting Steve Kornacki rile you up. The election is going to go how it’s going to go, and you still have to go to work tomorrow. Instead, tonight you should put your phone in a different room and pick up a book. Did you buy Intermezzo weeks ago and haven’t cracked it open yet? Now’s the perfect time. Are you intrigued by the horny dragons of The Fourth Wing? Treat yourself to a Kindle purchase! Maybe you want to read Little Women for the fifth time. I love that for you.
“But I actually have plans to go to—” I’m stopping you right there. Do not go anywhere tonight. As someone who was backstage at the Javits Center in 2016, I’m letting you know that you do not want to be out and about if things go left (or rather, I guess, right). The vibe can get rancid very quickly, and wouldn’t it be nice to just be in your bed instead?
If anything, you can hang out with whomever shares your living space. Roommates, partners, and pets are all fine, but they should also be reading quietly. Should they at any point say “Wow, did you see this?,” you have the right to shush them as though you are in a library. If you have kids, well, that’s above my pay grade. Godspeed to you.
Reading a book is the best way to distract yourself tonight, because you won’t be looking at a screen. As an added bonus, this might help you fall asleep sooner. The news can’t get to you if you’re asleep!
If you must, you can look at your phone once before going to bed. It will not feel good or healthy, but I concede that most people will need that. And who knows, maybe you’ll emerge from a few news-free hours and learn that something good has happened. Wouldn’t that feel nice?