sex diaries

This Week’s Sex Diary: The Novelist Who Found Love at a Sex Party

Photo-Illustration: Marylu Herrera

In this week’s story, a guy visiting NYC invites a woman over for kebabs and cuddles: 30, single, New York. 

DAY ONE

8 a.m. I do my morning practice of breathing, yoga, and meditation and have my usual breakfast of eggs. I’m excited because I’m going to my first sex party ever. A friend invited me since he knows I’m still recovering from a difficult breakup that happened a few months ago. I moved to New York to live with my ex last February, and when we broke up seven months later, I moved out into my own place to carry me over for the rest of my time in New York. I knew I’d be returning to London this winter, so here we are — my last two weeks in the city.

1 p.m. I get dressed to go to the gym, which I’ve been doing a lot since the breakup. It’s been great, but it’s absolutely pouring outside so I pass and do a HIIT workout at home.

6 p.m. After a leisurely day making a bone broth and sending emails to publishers about my next novel, which is coming out soon, I get my outfit prepared and wait for a friend to pick me up in his Uber. I only live a five-minute drive from the brownstone where the soirée is taking place. I microdose some mushrooms, which kick in quickly and are stronger than I’d expected. It feels really good.

10 p.m. I don’t have much of a frame of reference, since I’m not from New York and I’ve never been to a sex party before, but this seems more reserved than most. I know a couple people here because some of them are friends of friends, so I talk to them and then go to the kitchen to help myself to the dessert buffet. Layla, a gorgeous brunette whom I met earlier outside of the bathroom, approaches me and I strike up a conversation. She’s wearing a sexy yet demure lacy outfit that looks really good on her, and she has a playful innocence about her. Before I know it, I’m stroking her back while we listen to the organizer explain what’s next for the somewhat structured evening. The energy between us is really strong.

11 p.m. We decide to go down to the “dungeon” together, which is basically just the lower level of this brownstone dressed up with tapestries. There are three zones separated by curtains, with mattresses splayed out on the floor. We take the bed at the end of the room, where a TV is showing psychedelic visuals and playing some sexy, trance-y beats. We fool around and massage each other’s bodies. After about 30 minutes of heavy petting, I kiss her. I haven’t kissed anyone since my ex, and it feels magical. We roll around for a bit longer and Layla says she’s thirsty so we go to get some water upstairs.

12 a.m. We find a spot upstairs in a more vanilla zone and cuddle and breathe together for what feels like an eternity but passes in a flash.

3 a.m. As the night winds down, we say good-bye but then look back at each other immediately after hugging … and so I invite her back to my apartment. As soon as we get there, we start humping with our underwear on; and Layla even touches herself at one point, which turns me on even more. Eventually I come, though it’s not what I would call a full release. We eventually go to sleep.

DAY TWO

11 a.m. We both begin to stir, then Layla starts to go down on me, taking a long time before putting her entire mouth around my cock. It’s a blowjob from another planet, and she caresses and strokes me with such tenderness. After a while, I can feel myself getting close, but I don’t want to come so I pull her in closely and we make out. She’s not ready for me to touch her since we only just met and I respect that.

2 p.m. After making us brunch, I walk Layla out the door. We make out and I have to really bend my knees to do so gracefully as I am more than a foot taller than her, but the kiss is really romantic.

4 p.m. I’m still thinking about Layla, obviously. She’s 25 and really pretty and super petite, but she’s no pushover either and has a cheekiness to her.

5:29 p.m. I ask her out on a date this week and specify I don’t want a sleepover this time. I say I want to get to know her better as a person.

6:25 p.m. She wants to meet on Tuesday. I’ve got butterflies! I suggest a couple places to meet up including Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, which is actually beautiful and interesting in the winter. “That’s a sweet idea; hopefully it won’t be rainy,” she says.

9 p.m. I do some writing. We text each other good night over WhatsApp and I go to bed wondering where this sudden, intriguing new connection could lead.

DAY THREE

8:30 a.m. I take a taxi to drop off a toaster at a friend’s place; I’ve been pawning off all my stuff since I’m leaving town soon. All this gives a certain immediacy to exploring with Layla, who knows I won’t be in the city much longer; I told her the night we met.

12 p.m. I call my younger brother in the U.K., whose 25th birthday is today — we have a nice chat. I really love him. We lost our dad recently so I try to be there for him.

3 p.m. The sex-party photographer shares a selection of photos and one of the first shots is of Layla meditating in the middle of the room as the event ensued around her. What an angel. I send it to her. She likes the photo. I tell her how unbelievably gorgeous she is.

7 p.m. Layla confirms she can meet tomorrow afternoon. I can’t wait!

10 p.m. After a fairly intense gym class, I get home to my apartment. I watch the latest episode of Love Is Blind, which I’m so obsessed with that I’ve applied to appear on the next season, and go to bed.

DAY FOUR

10 a.m. I do my morning practice. I answer my emails and take pictures of a bunch of old clothes I don’t want to take with me and put them on Facebook Marketplace.

1:14 p.m. Layla texts to say that she might be 15 minutes late. Very polite of her to inform me — some girls wouldn’t have! I order an Uber when it’s time for me to take off.

2:12 p.m. After a minute or two, we find each other at the park. She really is a natural beauty.

5 p.m. We’re drinking tea that we bought at a nearby bodega. Winter certainly isn’t a great time for an outdoor date, but we have a fun time chatting. We share more about my breakup and I learn that she knows my ex, as they’re part of the same social scene here in New York, but they’re not exactly friends. Layla asks pertinent questions and I feel really seen and heard by her. I hope she feels the same about me.

I have a meeting of my men’s circle group — where we hang out and talk about our feelings — in a couple hours, so I don’t have much time with Lalya. She suggests a cute book store I’ve never been to and drives us there.

6:30 p.m. We find a cozy spot in the store and Layla grabs a set of tarot cards. We each pick one blindly and mine is “consciousness.” The accompanying book says this represents becoming a master of the mind and that the time is ripe for he who chooses the card to access the deep well of stillness that lives within all of us. Layla shares about her card and it feels like together we can transport ourselves to a celestial realm together. We end up gazing endlessly into each other’s eyes. Before I know it we’re sharing what is possibly the most sensual kiss of my life.

8 p.m. I arrive just in time for my meeting. Since this is my last one before leaving town, everyone shares very touching things about me, mostly about how my cheerfulness and good humor has positively affected the group during my four months or so, and they give me a group hug to see me off. It’s bittersweet. I learned to love all of those guys.

10 p.m. Layla texts and we plan to see each other Friday. I remind her that I’m leaving town soon and give her the exact date.

DAY FIVE

10 a.m. I do my morning practice, eat, and take an e-bike to my co-working space.

12 p.m. I like it here — I find it easy to focus deeply and I have plenty to do, though nothing super urgent. I’ve had some mild success previously, enough that I can afford to coast for a few weeks at a time like this one, and now I’m working on new ideas for future writing projects.

2:58 p.m. Layla texts me about a party on Saturday. Because of the social circle, I realize my ex will likely be there. She’s made a scene the last two times we’ve seen each other out; I’d like to avoid a third time. The relationship started out well, but in hindsight we moved in together too quickly and she became possessive. It ended badly when I moved out after an argument.

3:10 p.m. Layla wants to know what I’m doing the rest of the day and then proposes we do something spontaneous together. I invite her over for some food.

9 p.m. Before I know it, we’re eating chicken kebabs at my place. We play music and dance together. It’s a magical time. One thing leads to another and we’re making out passionately on my couch. She is really turned on and starts touching herself again. I follow suit and start jerking myself off. That seems to turn her on, and she tells me to touch her too. She has such an explosive orgasm that I’m almost worried the neighbors will hear.

12:30 a.m. We’re in my bed. When I pull Layla in close, her skin is impossibly soft. We look at each other and both know what is about to happen. I enter her slowly and we let out sighs of relief.

DAY SIX

12 p.m. We sleep in and then Layla leaves for work. She’s a freelancer so it’s okay that it’s late. We had an incredible evening together.

3 p.m. I’m deliriously happy all day. I head to the workspace acutely aware that I’ve prioritized this romance this week, but it’s okay as I work hard and these kinds of things don’t come around often.

7 p.m. I go to a hot-yoga class and reconnect with my own body and breath. I love how it can reset and recharge the mind and body, especially in a swelteringly hot room.

9:12 p.m. I text Layla to see how she’s doing and fall asleep not long after that.

DAY SEVEN

8:43 a.m. Layla texts to say she’s been basking in the sweetness of our time together. I melt slightly. It feels so good to be sharing this passion with someone who seems genuinely happy and at ease with themselves. It feels bittersweet because I’m leaving soon, but I’m just living in the moment and enjoying this gift.

11:14 a.m. Layla suggests we do a mushroom journey together before I leave. I accept, of course, grateful that she is so keen to go deeper with me. I find it very flattering and reassuring.

3 p.m. We set a date to do the shrooms; it will be just before I go.

6:15 p.m. I’m at home having a quiet Friday night meditating. I know that Layla is going to that party tomorrow, which is at the same house where we met, and it occurs to me that I should invite her over afterward. Part of me wants to hold back and not go too deep too quickly, but it just feels right, so I text her.

10:45 p.m. I find her lacy underwear on my floor.

10:58 p.m. She says wants to come over after the party! It’s a shame that I’m leaving town in just over a week now, as I can feel us falling into a beautiful flow. Perhaps we’ll keep seeing each other somehow. I am crazy about her already.

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The Novelist Who Found Love at a Sex Party