While there’s nothing wrong with meticulously planning a quintessential Valentine’s Day — you know, hard-to-get (and expensive) reservations, heart-shaped jewelry, plastic-y tasting chocolates, the works — it doesn’t have to be a copy-paste every year.
“Between social-media posts of perfect dates and people feeling like they need to prove they’re celebrating ‘properly,’ there’s a lot of pressure to do the fancy dinner,” says Amie Leadingham, master certified relationship coach. But, she explains, you don’t need to follow everyone else’s idea of romance. Instead, you can create your own special memories. “Maybe you’re that couple that loves trying new things, or you’re all about those cozy nights — either way, you get to celebrate your love in a way that feels authentic to who you are together.”
And, as Eliza Davis, LCSW at Manhattan Wellness, notes, authenticity really is the most essential thing when it comes to a day about celebrating your love. “It’s so important to reflect on what feels true and authentic to you and your relationship rather than the pressure to connect on this particular holiday.”
So with that in mind, we’ve rounded up non-restaurant (but still romantic!) dates that’ll help you ring in V-day the authentic way:
1. Turn your home into a spa — whether that’s lighting candles and taking a bath together or hiring professional masseuses for an at-home couples massage.
2. Re-create your first date at home.
3. Go to a local thrift store and hunt for the perfect vintage plates and wineglasses; then head home and cook up something special or order in.
4. Transform your living room into a karaoke bar (everything from songs that were playing when you first met to the ones that became “your songs” along the way).
5. Have a movie night with themed snacks.
6. Get nostalgic with childhood movies and board games.
7. Write cute (or loving, or sexy!) notes to each other and hide them around the house to find.
8. Go for a drive with no destination in mind and see where you end up.
9. Make each other “vouchers” to use throughout the year, like “1 free we can watch whatever movie you want tonight,” or “1 free ‘yes, we can order in even though we said we’d cook.’”
10. Take a walk around the neighborhood where you had your first date.
11. Explore a new neighborhood and pop into any stores that look interesting.
12. Go to a specialty-foods shop and buy every snack that looks slightly intriguing (highly recommend any Japanese market).
13. Order in but with a twist: Get a bunch of your favorite things from different restaurants.
14. Have a “progressive order-in dinner”: Order an app from one place, entrées from another, and dessert from a third.
15. Watch a cheesy Valentine’s Day movie on Netflix and take a shot every time they do something cliché.
16. Pretend you’re on Top Chef and cook a meal for each other using random ingredients.
17. Make heart-shaped charcuterie boards (heart-chuterie?) to enjoy while you binge-watch something new.
18. Do a blindfolded taste-testing challenge of candy hearts (yeah, they all taste the same but it’s still fun to try to guess the little phrases on them).
19. Set up a wine-tasting station with bottles that tell your story — think the Montepulciano you had on your first date — trading sweet (or funny) memories as you sip.
20. DIY V-Day chocolates (great news: You can skip the gross orange ones).
21. Hire a personal chef to come over and make you dinner while you cuddle on the couch.
22. Make a heart-shaped pizza from scratch. Then eat it, obviously.
23. Get some glue, scissors, and old magazines and make a couple’s vision board about your future.
24. Playlist swap: Make playlists for each other and spend the night listening to them and dancing.
25. Plan a future trip.
26. Do a “mystery location” date: Each person plans half the evening at a specific place, which they only reveal once you get there.
27. Create a scavenger hunt around your home or neighborhood with clues inspired by your relationship.
28. Go to a perfumery and create signature scents for each other.
29. Order a custom paint-by-number portrait of your favorite photo together and roll up your sleeves.
30. Take a pottery class and make each other gifts.
31. Take a candle-making class together.
32. Sign up for an evening dance class — hit up happy hour together first if you’re nervous.
33. Go to a comedy show.
34. Take a couple’s massage workshop — then practice what you’ve learned at home.
35. Do a couple’s tarot reading — either book with a reader or get a deck and guidebook and come up with interpretations together.
36. Jump around at an adult trampoline park.
37. Go rock-climbing.
38. Go axe-throwing.
39. Go roller-skating or ice-skating.
40. Spend the day volunteering for a cause you both care about.
41. Take a paint-and-sip class.
42. Spend the night embroidering (your/their initials, hearts, whatever you’re into) onto each other’s tees, pajamas, or jeans.
43. Do an at-home chocolate and cocktail pairing.
44. Take a food tour of your city’s best dessert spots.
45. Do a puzzle. (“This has a magical way of turning a simple conversation into hours of cozy quality time — you’re both working toward the same goal, sharing little victories when you find that piece you’ve been hunting for, and having relaxed chats that flow naturally when your hands are busy,” says Leadingham.)
46. Set up different craft stations around the house and take turns making something special for one another.
47. Set up an ice cream tasting by grabbing different pints from your local spots.
48. Play some couples’ video games (surprisingly, there are tons).
49. Go shopping and pick out outfits for each other for the next big date night.
50. Have a cookie bake-off (winner doesn’t have to clean).
Whether you take inspiration from the ideas above or put your own twist on things, remember: “Valentine’s Day is really about celebrating your love, your partner, your relationship, and your unique situation,” explains Leadingham. “It’s not about the price tag of a gift or going to the trendiest restaurant in town. It’s the favorite moments with your person.”