Ali Barthwell Author Archive
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Ali Barthwell is a writer who has been recapping reality TV shows—The Bachelor and Real Housewives among them—since 2015. She is an Emmy-winning writer for Last Week Tonight With John Oliver. Her work has been featured on The AV Club and Chicago Magazine.

  1. overnights
    The Bachelorette Season-Finale Recap: It Wasn’t Supposed to Be This WayJenn deserves a do-over after this mess of a finale and season.
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    JENN TRAN, JONATHON
    The Bachelorette Recap: Reverse UnoMarcus basically breaks up with Jenn, and somehow it’s Jonathon who ends up going home. What?
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    The Bachelorette Recap: The Most Boring Hometowns in Recent MemoryAn interesting Hometown date? In this economy? I don’t think so.
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    The Bachelorette Recap: Wicked WaysIt’s kind of stunning that it took this long before Jenn or anyone else thought, Hang on, what is this guy talking about?
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    The Bachelorette Recap: Something’s in the AirWhat happened in the casting this season that every single guy was in a toxic relationship?
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    The Bachelorette Recap: Read the RoomThe two Sams really don’t get how they come across, do they?
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    The Bachelorette Recap: The Main ThingCould this possibly be the horniest season of The Bachelorette in history?
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    The Bachelorette Season-Premiere Recap: Quit Playing GamesI’m calling it now: Jenn will be the first Bachelorette to propose to her final guy.
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    The Bachelor Season-Finale Recap: All InLeave it to our emotionally intelligent Bachelor to deliver the most unabashedly romantic proposal we’ve seen in years.
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    The Bachelor Recap: The Bully PulpitThe women tell all, and Maria gives the performance of a lifetime.
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    The Bachelor Recap: And the Award Goes To …Despite her Oscar-winning performance, Kelsey looks like she’s going to get snubbed.
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    The Bachelor Recap: Home Is Where the Heart IsIt’s Hometowns week, and while the tears may be plentiful, the drama is not.
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    The Bachelor Recap: Queen BehaviorThis season, we are watching a Bachelor act like a Bachelorette.
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    The Bachelor Recap: French MissJoey is feeling the pressure of this competition, and the women are feeling the pressure of performing enthusiasm for Montreal.
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    The Bachelor Recap: Disrespectful DramaProduction has decided to destroy Jess.
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    The Bachelor Recap: Maltese Double-CrossBy process of elimination and producer manipulation, Sydney and Maria get the two-on-one date. Sigh.
  17. overnights
    The Bachelor Recap: Finger Lickin’ DramaWelcome to the worst pool party ever, brought to you by chicken and bullying accusations.
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    The Bachelor Recap: Oh, Maria, MariaAn eye-popping wardrobe change and a jealous li’l nemesis in week two? Oh, Maria came to play.
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    The Bachelor Season-Premiere Recap: Kiss the GirlsDid Joey just set a first-night smooch record?
  20. overnights
    Love Is Blind Reunion Recap: Don’t Go to the Bars in HoustonIt’s pretty miraculous that a season this chaotic could produce a reunion this boring.
  21. overnights
    Love Is Blind Season-Finale Recap: Till Meh Do Us PartIt’s time for the weddings, and everyone is shedding the tears I cannot.
  22. overnights
    Love Is Blind Recap: Now I Am Become Mess, Destroyer of RelationshipsMilton’s heel turn and Izzy’s insecurities are rearing their ugly heads as we careen toward certain doom — I mean, the weddings.
  23. overnights
    Love Is Blind Recap: You Can’t Handle the TruthTime for the worst party in America.
  24. overnights
    Love Is Blind Season-Premiere Recap: A Walking Red FlagIt’s a whole new pod squad, and we’re getting so truly unhinged and messy.
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    Bachelor In Paradise Recap: Paradise LostEveryone wants the ’90s dance to be a fun time with no drama, and somewhere, the Greek god of foolishness is laughing at them.
  26. overnights
    Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Love FoolsEveryone seems to be hoping to just get through this season with the least amount of emotional damage.
  27. overnights
    Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Love Means Never Having to Say ‘Gaslighting’We are trapped in a time loop of drama and emotional chaos.
  28. overnights
    Bachelor in Paradise Recap: The Beach Is BrokenHow do we fix Paradise?
  29. overnights
    Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Reunited and It Feels So … OofEveryone is reunited from the Split™ and salivating at the possibility of a Shanae meltdown.
  30. overnights
    Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Karma Is a BeachRodney better marry Eliza and have four children. That’s the only way this is worth it.
  31. overnights
    Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Villain EditHow are we supposed to root for Rodney to fall in love with Eliza while his girlfriend of three full business days is crying her eyes out?
  32. overnights
    Bachelor in Paradise Recap: Casa de Oh NoThe show takes a cue from Love Island and commits to “emotional chaos†as its driving narrative force.
  33. overnights
    Bachelor in Paradise: The Beach That Makes You ChaoticThere’s simply too much happening and everyone is crying.
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    Bachelor in Paradise Recap: The Worst BirthdayThese are way too many feelings to be having this early in the season, Genevieve.
  35. overnights
    Bachelor in Paradise Season-Premiere Recap: The Power of the PalapaAfter a few absolutely wild seasons of the main franchise, it’s time to sit back and indulge in the chaos that is The Bachelor’s drunk cousin.
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    The Bachelorette Season-Finale Recap: Am I Good? Am I Done?This is simply the most baffling breakup in Bachelor Nation history.
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    The Bachelorette Recap: The Bachelor Franchise Is BrokenThis season is a complete mess.
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    The Bachelorette Recap: Next-Level NonsenseI’m very upset at these gentlemen and what they are choosing to do to our dear Two Bachelorettes!
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    The Bachelorette Recap: Bitter SuiteThere isn’t a man left on Gabby’s team who isn’t deeply invested in making this a Bad Time for her.
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    The Bachelorette Recap: Much Ado About NothingThis show is teetering on the brink of unwatchable.
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    The Bachelorette Recap: Hometown ZeroesAre these men aware of the program they are on?
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    The Bachelorette Recap: Him?Excuse me, but I absolutely did not sign up for a television program whose main character is Logan.
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    The Bachelorette Recap: RamboSome of the men feel as if they’re doing the women a favor by being there. Instead, they should be living in constant fear of being eliminated.
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    The Bachelorette Recap: Power PlaysThis show and these men seem very invested in the systematic destruction of Rachel’s and Gabby’s well-being.
  45. overnights
    The Bachelorette Recap: Get OutChris makes an impressive amount of bad decisions.
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    The Bachelorette Season-Premiere Recap: Welcome to Girlie SeasonGabby and Rachel are here and they are ready to do some kissing.
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    The Bachelor Season-Finale Recap: Collateral DamageAll three of these women were reduced to two-dimensional figures in the come-from-behind underdog story of Clayton’s season.
  48. overnights
    The Bachelor Recap: What Women Don’t WantThis dum-dum has such intense Main Character Syndrome that he’s convinced his intentions are more important than his impact.
  49. overnights
    The Bachelor Recap: Suite MiseryIf Susie is right in this fight (which she’s not), that means the entire concept of Fantasy Suites must be abolished.
  50. overnights
    The Bachelor Recap: Hometown ZeroClayton is not a riddle to be solved, he is one of those puzzles where you just match the apple piece to the apple cutout.
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